1 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,761 [Velma] My name is Velma Dinkley. 2 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:12,804 [thunder rumbling] 3 00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:16,766 And this is my origin story. 4 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:20,437 Sure, normally, origin stories are about tall, handsome guys 5 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,730 struggling with the burden 6 00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,815 of being handed even more power. 7 00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:25,358 And if they are about girls, 8 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,818 it's usually like, 9 00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:28,445 "Hey, what made this hot chick go crazy?" 10 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,613 So, to remedy this, 11 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,657 I've decided to finally share... 12 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,492 -[creaking] -...the bone-chilling events 13 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,077 that drove me to assemble 14 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,289 the greatest team of spooky mystery solvers ever. 15 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:40,498 Yeah, it was me. 16 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,917 Not Fred and his weird sex van. 17 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:46,296 This is my story, told my way. 18 00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,506 And it starts with a murder, bitch. 19 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,843 [school bell ringing] 20 00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:56,014 Brenda? 21 00:00:59,017 --> 00:00:59,851 Ugh. 22 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:03,313 [groans] This school sucks. 23 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:09,444 [giggling] 24 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:10,820 [Daphne claps] Oh, hey. 25 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,489 Team shower discussion topic of the day. 26 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,991 Have you ever noticed how pilot episodes of TV shows 27 00:01:15,074 --> 00:01:17,035 always have more gratuitous sex and nudity 28 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:18,203 than the rest of the series? 29 00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:20,038 -Oh, my God, I have. -So true. 30 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,832 That's how we learned what Rachel Brosnahan's boobs look like. 31 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:23,958 And Don Cheadle's butt. 32 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,503 Well, I, for one, think it's lame. 33 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:27,796 -Agreed. -So lame. 34 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,172 The lamest. 35 00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:30,882 Oh, I actually kind of love it. 36 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,175 -[girls gasps] -Sex sells. 37 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:33,426 And in today's overcrowded market, 38 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,677 you need a hook. 39 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,763 Um, the only hook a good show ever needs 40 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:38,681 is good storytelling. 41 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,392 Then why was your favorite part of the Riverdale pilot 42 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:42,936 when Betty and Veronica kissed? 43 00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:44,354 Well, because it was instantly called out 44 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:45,855 -as tired in the scene. -[grunts] 45 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,649 No. It's because it was hot. 46 00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:49,943 You can have it both ways. [groans] 47 00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:51,236 No, you can't. 48 00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,613 Just admit we are all secretly perverts. 49 00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:54,948 -Never! -[grunts] 50 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:58,368 [gasps, grunting] 51 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,038 [gasps] 52 00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:02,997 [screaming] 53 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,707 [grunts] 54 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,877 And how do you feel about race-blind casting, Daphne? 55 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,129 Well, as an Asian woman, 56 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,632 I, um, think it's cool. 57 00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:14,801 I mean, not to oversimplify a thorny issue, 58 00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:18,555 but everyone loves it when white people play Jesus or a professional boxer. 59 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:21,057 Why can't it ever go the other way, right? 60 00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:22,392 Uh, yes. 61 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,727 I wasn't expecting such an enlightened answer 62 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,021 from such a bitch. 63 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,231 Velma? 64 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,024 What the hell? You almost killed me. 65 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,193 Guess I didn't try hard enough. 66 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,322 See? Now, if this was a show, 67 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,283 it'd be super hot if you two kissed. 68 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,576 Krista, if this was a show, 69 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:40,994 you'd be killed off for being horny. 70 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,080 Brenda? 71 00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:45,874 Wait, did you climb in my locker to prove how skinny you are again? 72 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,041 Ugh. We get it. 73 00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:49,627 [all screaming] 74 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,212 She has no brain! 75 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,547 -[screaming stops] -[scoffs] 76 00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:54,465 I am not dissing her. She has no brain. 77 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:57,302 [screaming] 78 00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,512 [opening theme music playing] 79 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,558 [siren wailing] 80 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:04,893 [Velma] Hello? 81 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,853 Anybody? I know my rights. 82 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:08,980 I get a phone call and a handsome detective 83 00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:11,566 I infuriate with my indifference. 84 00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:15,278 -[gasps] -[creature] Who killed Brenda, Velma? 85 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,946 You're not real, you're not real. 86 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,740 [woman] Who isn't real, sweetie? 87 00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:20,617 [Velma gasps] 88 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,661 Uh, God's not real if you two morons are running this investigation. 89 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:27,624 [laughs] Oh, how we've missed that sense of humor, girl. 90 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:30,835 Seriously. How long has it been since Daphne had you over to our house? 91 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,004 Uh, since my mom went missing. 92 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,297 Two years ago. 93 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,299 Oh, right. That. 94 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,176 Oh, my God. You totally forgot. 95 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:39,510 No, we didn't. 96 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,721 Every day, we're closer to finding Doodad. 97 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,306 Diya. Her name is Diya. 98 00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,600 You know what? We're done here. Peace. 99 00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:46,935 [gasps] 100 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,978 Unfortunately, we're not done here, Velma. 101 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,898 You're a suspect in Brenda's murder. Now sit. 102 00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,609 I'm a suspect? 103 00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:56,486 I thought lesbians were good at solving crimes. 104 00:03:56,569 --> 00:04:00,239 It's like the one positive stereotype perpetuated by cop shows. 105 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,659 Velma, she was found in your locker 106 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,327 and you were lurking around the showers 107 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:07,121 like a gym teacher who isn't a gym teacher anymore. 108 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,998 Clearly, someone's trying to frame me. 109 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,249 And I wasn't lurking. 110 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,085 I was waiting to shower alone. 111 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,169 Because of your weight? 112 00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:14,170 What? No. 113 00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:15,880 Because of your handsome face? 114 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,090 My face is fine. 115 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:19,133 Because of your hairy gorilla arm? 116 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:22,595 No, because I hate your stupid adopted daughter and her fake-ass friends. 117 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:29,519 And yet you and Daphne used to be best friends. Isn't that right? 118 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:31,854 Yeah, until Daphne got hot and ditched me 119 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,898 to hang out with Brenda and the other popular girls 120 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,274 -at Spooner's Malt Shop. -[laughter echoing] 121 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,360 I could kill them all. 122 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,195 Okay, I see how this looks bad. 123 00:04:39,278 --> 00:04:42,865 Look, we know you couldn't kill Brenda, sweetie, 124 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,868 but we also know we're not, like, the best detectives. 125 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,955 So the only way we're going to convince the sheriff you're innocent 126 00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,416 is if you help us find Brenda's actual murderer. 127 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,501 Help you find Brenda's murderer? 128 00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,211 But that's a mystery. 129 00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:57,964 And I don't solve mysteries. 130 00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,924 Not anymore. 131 00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:11,853 Then you're screwed. 132 00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:14,689 You've got 24 hours and then we arrest you. 133 00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:17,233 But still, so good seeing you. 134 00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:18,401 We miss you. 135 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,403 Say hi to your father and Doodad. 136 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:21,362 Diya! 137 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:23,948 [cell phone beeps] 138 00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:26,242 [sighs] 139 00:05:26,325 --> 00:05:27,535 [yelps, grunts] 140 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,287 Hey! Watch where you're going, jerk. 141 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,582 -Oh. [giggles] Hey, Fred. -[camera shutter clicks] 142 00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,043 -Do I know you? -It's Velma, from school. 143 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,962 You cheat off me in Spanish because you think I'm Mexican. 144 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,672 Maybe. 145 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,383 I have a disease where I can't recognize people who aren't hot. 146 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,678 My doctor says it's basically sickle cell for rich guys. 147 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,055 Is it called rudeness? 148 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,557 It is. You're like, smart. 149 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,892 Oh, wow. Thank you. 150 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:51,934 Yeah, not a compliment. 151 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,436 Anyway, have you seen Daphne? 152 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:54,645 -She texted-- -[Daphne] Oh, Fred. 153 00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:55,938 Thank God you're here. 154 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:56,939 -Whoa! -Brenda's-- 155 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,441 Into me. No, I know. 156 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,985 I'm caliente, as this one's people would say. 157 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,279 No. Brenda's dead. 158 00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:04,614 What? No! 159 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,491 She was my plan B if you ever got too clingy. 160 00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:07,450 What happened? 161 00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,243 -Ask Velma. -Who? 162 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,621 Me, Fred. We were just... [sighs] 163 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:12,538 Forget it. 164 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:16,751 [both moaning] 165 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,086 -[zipper unzips] -[Daphne] Mm. 166 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,463 -Not now, Daph. Geez. -[squeals] 167 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,465 Then when, Fred? When? 168 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,759 And just FYI, I didn't kill Brenda. 169 00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:28,054 -[gasps] -[creature] And how are you going to prove that, Velma? 170 00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:31,933 You don't solve mysteries anymore. 171 00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:34,310 You're not real. You're not real. 172 00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:35,812 [inhales, whimpers] 173 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,772 -Seriously, who is this weirdo? -[Velma whimpering] 174 00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:39,607 Did your moms, like, adopt another kid? 175 00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,820 [Velma screaming] 176 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,989 Dad! You can't just eat soggy fries from the takeout container. 177 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,200 You have to crisp them in the oven first. 178 00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:52,912 I saw you eat a fry out of the vacuum cleaner last week, so spare me. 179 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,997 -I've had a long day. -You've had a long day? 180 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,500 I was accused of a murder I didn't commit. 181 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,335 And whose fault is that? 182 00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,837 Excuse me? 183 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,673 Don't you raise your eyebrows at me, Steve Harvey. 184 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,591 You know exactly what I'm talking about. 185 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:06,843 [scoffs] Fine. 186 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,219 Velma, I love you. 187 00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:09,971 But I'm a lawyer, so trust me when I say this. 188 00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:12,306 People only think you murdered Brenda because you... 189 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,810 Were voted "Most Revenge-y" in the school yearbook. I know. 190 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:19,021 Oh, those yearbook guys have no idea what's coming to them. 191 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,690 No, because you're a weirdo. 192 00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,316 Ever since your mother disappeared, 193 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,193 you haven't even tried to hang out with the normal kids 194 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,361 at Spooner's Malt Shop. 195 00:07:25,444 --> 00:07:26,821 Maybe I'd hang out there more 196 00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:29,282 if you hadn't knocked up a Spooner's waitress 197 00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,909 while your actual wife is still missing. 198 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,828 Velma, that's not fair! 199 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,788 I'm not just a waitress. I'm also-- 200 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,332 A basic bitch who doesn't even know how to use hashtags? 201 00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:41,919 No, I'm also, hashtag, the owner of Spooner's. 202 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,255 Oh! The baby's kicking hashtag. 203 00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:46,799 Hashtag, get my new camera out of my bag, Aman. 204 00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,052 [camera shutter clicks] 205 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,762 You got an actual camera? 206 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,389 With what money? 207 00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,516 Dad says we can't even afford to buy me a second sweater. 208 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,726 Oh, God! 209 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,477 I know, but it's about priorities. 210 00:07:58,561 --> 00:07:59,812 You need a real camera 211 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,857 to capture real, unmanufactured moments. 212 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,819 Well, I have to go prepare myself for prison. 213 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:07,945 Not that you care. 214 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,406 Velma, real talk, shero to shero. 215 00:08:10,489 --> 00:08:11,949 People only think you're a murderer 216 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,327 because you're a creepy loser. 217 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,204 But that will change tonight, 218 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:20,458 when you become a glamorous waitress at Spooner's Malt Shop. 219 00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,585 [screams] 220 00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:26,172 ♪ If you're horny ♪ 221 00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:28,925 ♪ Let's do it ♪ 222 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:32,929 ♪ Ride it, my pony ♪ 223 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,180 [sobbing] 224 00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:36,015 That was Brenda's favorite song. 225 00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:39,268 And yeah, normally in pop culture, when a slutty girl is murdered, 226 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:42,146 we're all a little like, "Well, maybe she deserved it." 227 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,899 But that is what made Brenda so special. 228 00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:48,110 She was the rare slut that did not deserve to be murdered. 229 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,321 -[clapping] -Thank you, Krista. 230 00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:51,948 That was beautiful. 231 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:54,242 But Brenda wasn't just a rare slut. 232 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,618 She was a rare friend. 233 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,662 In fact, she was such a rare friend, 234 00:08:57,745 --> 00:09:02,583 she made my previous so-called best friend look like a piece of crap. 235 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,460 [groans] 236 00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:08,714 Especially now that I know she's the main suspect in Brenda's murder. 237 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,259 Daphne, sweetie, that was private. 238 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,301 [scoffs] 239 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,427 Bump this noise. 240 00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:17,056 [door creaking] 241 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,474 [sighs] 242 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:22,186 Nope. 243 00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:26,315 Ugh. 244 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,153 -[whimpering] -Hello? 245 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,614 [whimpering] 246 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:37,952 You're not real. 247 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:39,495 You're not real. 248 00:09:39,578 --> 00:09:40,538 You're not real. 249 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,543 I am real! A real man, Father! 250 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,378 [both grunt] 251 00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:48,546 Who are you? 252 00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,298 If I tell you, will you remember? 253 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:51,549 I have an illness! 254 00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:53,634 What are you doing out here, Fred? 255 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,345 I guess since you're a stranger I'll never see again, I can tell you. 256 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,930 I'm trying to pull myself together 257 00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,308 so I can be the man my father expects me to be. 258 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,351 Zam! DILF city. 259 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,562 -Sorry. Continue. -No, I get it. 260 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,439 And I want to be as manly as him. 261 00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:10,359 But since Brenda died, I can't stop crying like a total puss. 262 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,278 Hey, hey. It's okay. I get it. 263 00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:13,988 I have this whole thing with my mom. 264 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,990 Did she put her cigars out on you? 265 00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:17,783 Uh, no. 266 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:21,078 My mom smoked cigarettes. 267 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:25,166 Figuring that out was the first mystery I ever solved. 268 00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:27,710 Oh, shit. Hi, sweetie. 269 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,170 Oh. [laughs] 270 00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:31,922 See, my mother wrote mysteries. 271 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,049 Hmm. [gasps] 272 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,426 And from that day on, 273 00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:36,886 she gave me little mysteries to solve 274 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,512 while she worked and smoked. 275 00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:42,641 Like the case of the missing idea juice. 276 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:46,729 But eventually, 277 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,607 I grew bold, and sought mysteries of my own. 278 00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:55,363 But instead of feeling excited I found my Christmas presents, 279 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:56,405 I felt terrible. 280 00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:58,949 I'd ruined Christmas. 281 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,619 But still, my mom felt so bad for me, 282 00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,788 she ran out to buy something I could unwrap 283 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:04,789 Christmas morning. 284 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,960 That was the last time I ever saw her. 285 00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:13,089 Hey, don't forget to buy yourself something from me. 286 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,257 That night, the police found my mom's car 287 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:18,427 abandoned and empty, except for her glasses, 288 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,971 and a single wrapped gift for me. 289 00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,599 So I put on my mom's glasses 290 00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,684 and vowed I wouldn't open her gift 291 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:26,852 until I found her. 292 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,063 But I felt so guilty 293 00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:30,398 that it was my mystery solving 294 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,108 that had caused her to go missing, 295 00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:35,736 I started having horrifying hallucinations. 296 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,280 [creature] This is all your fault, Velma. 297 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:42,451 -Why did you have to go and solve your own mystery? -[screaming] 298 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,123 Now, when I try to solve a mystery, 299 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:50,418 my guilt triggers a potentially heart-stopping hallucination. 300 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,962 Could exercising and eating less fried food help? 301 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:53,838 We'll never know. 302 00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,131 Wow. After hearing that, 303 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:56,715 I not only feel emotionally hooked, 304 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,093 I understand the stakes of your journey, Velma. 305 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,220 [gasps] You remembered my name. 306 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:03,431 Huh? That's never happened to me before. 307 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:04,807 -[engine revving] -[tires screech] 308 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,642 Fred! Watch out! 309 00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:08,477 You're right! If anyone ever saw me talking to you, I'd die of shame. 310 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,562 -[car honking] -[both grunt] 311 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,524 -[screams] -[tires screech] 312 00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:15,651 Velma! 313 00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:16,652 There you are! 314 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,195 Norville? What the hell? 315 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,281 You didn't answer my VMs. Voice mails. 316 00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:22,116 And then my dad heard me call you the B word, 317 00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:23,701 so I lost my phone for 24 hours. 318 00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:25,327 But I had to find you 319 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,871 because I still didn't know if you'd listened to my VMs, 320 00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:28,622 voice mails, let alone responded. Did you? 321 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,791 Yes. And I don't want to do our math homework together. 322 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,002 Just email me your answers like always. 323 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,295 Yes, of course. 324 00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:35,671 Though I left you some other VMs, voice-- 325 00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:38,007 I know what VMs are! Get to the point. 326 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,175 I already did. 327 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,760 -In my VMs. -Ugh. 328 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,012 -[beeps] -[Norville over phone] Velma, 329 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,346 it's Norville. From math. 330 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,764 I know who killed Brenda. 331 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,183 [gasps] Oh, my God. Who? 332 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,726 I left you six more VMs. 333 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,939 So I guess what I'm saying is, I don't know who killed Brenda. 334 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,858 Damn it, Norville, you're wasting my time. 335 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:59,320 If I can't convince people I didn't kill Brenda by tomorrow, 336 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:00,696 I'm going to be arrested. 337 00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,072 I know, But I also know how to find out 338 00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,365 who did kill Brenda. 339 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,117 Have you ever wondered why Spooner's, 340 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,786 a boring malt shop owned by a woman with a "breathe" tattoo, 341 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,705 is the coolest spot in Crystal Cove? 342 00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:11,499 Only every day of my life. 343 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,042 On TV shows, 344 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,085 the malt shop owner is always a friendly Black man, 345 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,296 or a spicy meatball Italian. 346 00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:20,716 So you're like, "Oh, the kids come here for the folksy wisdom." 347 00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:22,134 But Sophie has no wisdom. 348 00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:24,220 Just a lot of T-shirts with puns about wine. 349 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:27,932 Exactly. I think it has something to do with drugs. 350 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,851 Which I hate. 351 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:35,147 So, I had one of my reporters on the school newspaper investigate Spooner's. 352 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,024 Guess which one. 353 00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:38,984 Uh, Dorkus McNoFriends? 354 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,402 Well, Dorkus was actually busy. 355 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,112 So I gave Brenda my camera 356 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,156 to photograph anything suspicious there. 357 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,326 And she said she got a picture of something weird in the bathroom, 358 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:48,619 but didn't say what. 359 00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:50,579 Wait. So you think-- 360 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:54,208 No, I know Brenda was murdered to keep that photograph from getting out. 361 00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:55,876 [gasps] Holy crap. 362 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,796 Sophie just got a new camera, which I know we can't afford. 363 00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:01,590 Hashtag, get my new camera out of my bag, Aman. 364 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,133 But what if she didn't buy it? 365 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,427 What if she took it from Brenda after killing her, 366 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,680 to protect the secret of Spooner's popularity? 367 00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,848 If I can find your camera on Sophie, 368 00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,685 I'd solve Brenda's murder and send Sophie to jail. 369 00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,019 It's a win-win. 370 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:17,231 Or maybe we could find the camera together? 371 00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:18,857 Together? Oh. 372 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,651 -Hmm. -Oh, yeah. Just because it's mine. 373 00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,362 But also your hallucinations. I could maybe help? 374 00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:24,655 Oh, Okay. Phew. 375 00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,615 I thought you were, like, suggesting a date. 376 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,450 A date? [scoffs] You wish. 377 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,785 [scoffs, chuckles] 378 00:14:29,868 --> 00:14:31,203 A date. What? [chortles] 379 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:35,833 [snoring] 380 00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:39,837 [grunts] 381 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:42,631 [cat yowls] 382 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,883 Holy mother of God. 383 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,844 Yes, it's true. 384 00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:49,972 Sophie photographs babies dressed up as vegetables. 385 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,390 It's our dirty little secret. 386 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,475 But that's how she afforded the new camera. 387 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,978 Okay, but if this isn't Norville's camera, 388 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,605 who killed Brenda? 389 00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:58,522 -[growls] -[yelps] 390 00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,982 Oh, no! The camera! 391 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,651 [screaming] 392 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:07,990 -Is someone trying to solve a mystery? -[heart thumping] 393 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,783 No. I was just asking a question. 394 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:13,829 [screaming] 395 00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:15,331 Heart attack. [screams] 396 00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:16,665 Velma, what is this? 397 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,667 Did you eat all the gummy vitamins again? 398 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,629 Damn it, Aman. Can't you see that she's trying to solve a mystery? 399 00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,797 [both grunting] 400 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,591 -[gasps, coughs] -There you go. 401 00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:26,842 -Get it all out. -[coughing] 402 00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:28,927 Yep. Okay. Oh, boy. 403 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,512 -Still more. -[sighs] 404 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,014 I'm sorry. 405 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,515 I thought you killed Brenda because she figured out 406 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,476 the secret to your diner's popularity. 407 00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:36,644 I get that. 408 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:37,936 But there isn't any secret to it. 409 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,688 Just good food, great tunes. 410 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,607 And I let teens have sex in the bathroom. 411 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:44,568 And I'm sorry I didn't believe you about your hallucinations. 412 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,362 But, Velma, I told you this. 413 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:49,490 Your mother didn't go missing because you solved a mystery. 414 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,284 She left us. 415 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,869 La, la, la, la, la, la, la. No, she didn't. 416 00:15:53,952 --> 00:15:55,871 Something bad happened to her, and it's my fault. 417 00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:58,999 Because if Mom just left us, it means she didn't love us. 418 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:02,961 Which is insane. Sure, you were a huge jerk, Dad, but I was... 419 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:03,962 ["Sweet But Psycho" playing] 420 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,464 Oh, my eye! 421 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:08,717 My book! 422 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,635 [grunts] 423 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,013 My idea juice! 424 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:13,931 [gasps] 425 00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:16,600 [music stops] 426 00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:18,352 Oh, God. 427 00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:19,937 Mom wasn't taken. 428 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:23,065 She left because she hated us. 429 00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,733 Yes. 430 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,777 So you can stop feeling guilty about your mysteries, beti. 431 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:31,031 And you can start changing your personality to fit in and avoid prison. 432 00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,282 Whoo-hoo! 433 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:34,618 What? Too soon? 434 00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:35,536 No. 435 00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:36,912 No, you're right. 436 00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:38,956 It's time to stop feeling guilty and move on. 437 00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,133 [coughs] 438 00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,092 [sighs] 439 00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:52,761 [indistinct chatter] 440 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,013 [pop music playing] 441 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,181 [students gasp] 442 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,766 Wow. Are you an exchange student 443 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,436 from a more sexually liberated country? 444 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,062 -No, it's Velma. -[students gasp] 445 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,731 I'm just unburdened by the belief 446 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,441 I caused my mother to go missing. 447 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,484 Well, now that you're not a total dog, 448 00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:09,903 do you want to hang out at Spooner's Malt Shop later? 449 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,363 Yes. 450 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:13,157 Because I'm just a normal, well-adjusted teen now. 451 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,241 Like all of you. 452 00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:15,200 She is. 453 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,535 My opinion's changed. 454 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,787 Velma, do you like playing cards? 455 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,331 Because I'm calling bullshit. 456 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,417 This outfit is clearly just a ploy 457 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,668 to make us think you're not 458 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,421 a brain-removing serial killer anymore. 459 00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:28,589 Uh, no, it's not. 460 00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:32,301 -[students booing] -[grunting] 461 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:35,345 -[gasps] -[grunts] 462 00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:36,764 [shrieks] 463 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:37,639 [screams] 464 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:38,599 Enough! 465 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,144 My fellow populars, yes. 466 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,896 Underneath this banging new look, 467 00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:46,690 Velma is still the fashionably challenged loser 468 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,401 we depend on for group projects. 469 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,779 But last night, we spoke. 470 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,489 And yes, while it was awful, 471 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:56,825 I learned this is not a creature capable of murder. Nay. 472 00:17:56,909 --> 00:18:00,579 It is just a scared little boy who wants our friendship. 473 00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:03,081 [groans] 474 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,167 [cheering] 475 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,085 [scoffs] 476 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,552 [sighs] Perfect. 477 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:17,596 [gasps] 478 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:22,059 -Well, well, well. -[toilet flushes] 479 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,063 -Well, well, well. -[toilet flushes] 480 00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:33,237 [whistling] 481 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,500 -Well, well, well. -Look, whatever this is, can you just get to it? 482 00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:47,376 Class is starting. 483 00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,502 I have a whole speech. 484 00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:49,545 [school bell ringing] 485 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:50,796 [scoffs] 486 00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:52,381 Fine. I'll just skip to the main part. 487 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,341 Well, guess what, Velma? 488 00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:56,718 If you want my boyfriend, you can have him. 489 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,929 Boyfriend? You think I want Fred? 490 00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,264 I mean, sure, if someone was, like, 491 00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:01,682 "Want to see a naked picture of Fred?" 492 00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:02,850 I'd be like, "Hubba hubba!" 493 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,351 But I'd say that about anyone. 494 00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:06,895 LeBron, Helen Mirren, a mummy. 495 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,398 Fred? Naked? [scoffs] Hilarious. 496 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:12,442 We've been dating for a year, and he still won't even take his pants off. 497 00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:13,610 A year? 498 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,070 -He gay? -I haven't heard that rumor. 499 00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:17,447 I have heard rumors about other people. 500 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,408 Yeah, we've all heard those rumors. 501 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,827 Anyway, Fred's so self-conscious about his body, 502 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:25,205 he kicks everyone out of the bathroom at Spooner's Malt Shop 503 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:26,957 when he has to use it. 504 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,959 -So have fun with that. -[door creaks] 505 00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:32,087 Wait. The bathroom at Spooner's Malt Shop? 506 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:34,256 Oh, my God. 507 00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:36,341 Norville! 508 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,010 Hey, I was rethinking 509 00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,303 our friendship this morning, and maybe it's healthy if I-- 510 00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:40,596 No time! Drive me to Fred's house! 511 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,097 I'll get my windbreaker. 512 00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,853 Why would Fred kill Brenda 513 00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,938 just because she photographed him in the bathroom? 514 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:50,939 Why wouldn't he? 515 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,274 If I were a rich white dude, 516 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,443 I'd kill everybody just to get away with it. 517 00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:56,653 But won't looking for my camera trigger your potentially fatal hallucinations? 518 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,030 Though "Saving Friend from Death" 519 00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,823 would make for a great college essay. 520 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,617 My hallucinations have stopped. 521 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,577 Once I realized solving mysteries 522 00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,245 didn't cause my mom to go missing, 523 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,289 I no longer felt the guilt that triggered them. 524 00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:09,166 Okay, but have you given any thought 525 00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,418 to all the other ways you could die trying to solve a mystery? 526 00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:13,670 -[grunting] -Crushed by a revolving bookcase? 527 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:14,671 Attacked by bats. 528 00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:15,797 Falling off a fence. 529 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:16,924 Stop. I'll be fine. 530 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,508 -[grunts] Ahh! -[rustling] 531 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,052 Velma, did you fall? 532 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:22,512 No, I'm cool and graceful like a swan. 533 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,932 Okay, 'cause it really sounded like you fell. 534 00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:27,267 [owl hooting] 535 00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,185 [creaking] 536 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,820 -[cell phone ringing] -[gasps] 537 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:39,821 What? 538 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,323 I'm bored. 539 00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:43,325 Norville! Get off my jock and let me solve this mystery. 540 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,369 [yelps] 541 00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,037 [whimpering] 542 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,830 -Oh. God, I'm starting to hallucinate. -[heart thumping] 543 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,666 [Norville over phone] You just said those were over. 544 00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,876 Well, I guess I needed more than three minutes online 545 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,420 to make a mental health diagnosis, didn't I? 546 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:56,505 Oh. 547 00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,048 Wait. This isn't so bad. 548 00:20:58,131 --> 00:21:00,550 No, it's not bad, Velma. 549 00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:02,844 But it's going to be! 550 00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:03,845 -[screeching] -[Velma screams] 551 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:04,846 Help me, Norville! 552 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,057 [cackling] 553 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:08,684 [grunts] 554 00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:11,019 Velma! Velma! Can you hear me? 555 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,480 Just remember, these hallucinations are only in your head, 556 00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:14,940 so focus on what I'm saying. 557 00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:16,692 -[distorted moaning] Velma! -[Velma grunts] 558 00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:18,944 [growling] Velma. 559 00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:21,071 You're not saying anything. [screams] 560 00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:24,282 I know! I'm, uh, kind of drawing a blank right now. 561 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,535 [whimpers, screams] 562 00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:28,662 Have you seen any good movies lately? 563 00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:30,998 Oh, God. Here comes the big one. 564 00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:32,541 -Stop! You can't die. -[heart thumping] 565 00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,918 Why? I'm weird and no one likes me. 566 00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:35,961 That's not true. 567 00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:38,255 I like you. 568 00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:40,257 Like, like like you. 569 00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:41,425 -Wait, what? -[softly groaning] Velma. 570 00:21:41,508 --> 00:21:42,759 No, you don't. 571 00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:45,012 You're like a brother to me. That's hilarious. 572 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:45,971 [chuckling] 573 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,057 [gasps] Wait. Norville. 574 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,517 Your joke worked, you genius. 575 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,519 -Keep making me laugh. -I wasn't joking. 576 00:21:52,602 --> 00:21:55,230 -Your face is why I get up in the morning. -[laughing] 577 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,650 That's perfect. One more time should do it. 578 00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:00,235 Make it super cringy. 579 00:22:00,318 --> 00:22:02,738 [sighs] You're the main character in all my dreams. 580 00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,031 [laughing] 581 00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:05,574 Okay, stop. I'm peeing. I'm peeing. 582 00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:09,870 Norville, it worked. 583 00:22:09,953 --> 00:22:11,371 Who knew you were so funny? 584 00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:13,540 Yes, it's hilarious. I'm the funniest man alive. 585 00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:14,750 [siren wailing] 586 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,752 This is not what I need right now. 587 00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:21,465 Bingo. 588 00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:24,926 Well. 589 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:26,386 These are just Krista hooking up with-- 590 00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:27,637 Damn, Krista. Get it. 591 00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:29,890 But why does Fred have the camera? 592 00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:34,269 -Because Velma, -[gasps] 593 00:22:34,352 --> 00:22:36,480 Brenda also photographed this. 594 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:38,774 [gasps] 595 00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,692 Wait. Your secret is you're hairless? 596 00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:42,194 Uh, if I was hairless, 597 00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:44,696 I'd literally wear a bikini to school every day. 598 00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:46,073 Not hairless, Velma. 599 00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:48,450 I haven't finished going through puberty yet. 600 00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:49,785 I'm a late bloomer. 601 00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,621 How else are my features so boyishly delicate? 602 00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:54,623 But Father says, if people know, 603 00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:56,708 they'll laugh, and never respect me 604 00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,919 as the man and unquestioned leader 605 00:22:59,002 --> 00:23:00,629 that I am meant to be. 606 00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:02,089 So we keep the secret hidden away 607 00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:03,465 to avoid embarrassment. 608 00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:06,468 Which is why Brenda, and her stupid camera 609 00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:09,304 left me no choice but the unthinkable. 610 00:23:09,387 --> 00:23:10,222 Oh, no. 611 00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:11,681 It's okay. 612 00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:14,184 I'm just gonna to do to you what I did to Brenda. 613 00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:15,143 [gasps] 614 00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:21,483 [whimpers, breathes heavily] 615 00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:22,526 -[gunshots] -[Velma gasps] 616 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:28,323 [screams] What the hell? 617 00:23:28,406 --> 00:23:30,033 [groaning] 618 00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:31,243 You saved my life. 619 00:23:31,326 --> 00:23:33,036 You're not terrible cops, after all. 620 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,621 They assumed you were a package thief. 621 00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:36,665 -It worked out, didn't it? -[chuckles] 622 00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:39,501 Okay. Well, I proved my innocence. 623 00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:40,836 Can I go? 624 00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:42,712 I'd like to wash Fred's leg blood out of my mouth. 625 00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,506 Yeah, sweetie, you're free to go. 626 00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:46,341 But we're taking credit for the arrest. 627 00:23:46,424 --> 00:23:49,594 Linda lost her taser on a loop-de-loop roller-coaster last week, 628 00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:51,513 so, uh, we need a win. 629 00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:53,640 Wait. You think I killed Brenda? 630 00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:55,058 You just said 631 00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:56,685 you were going to do to me what you did to her. 632 00:23:56,768 --> 00:23:58,937 I meant pay you to keep quiet. 633 00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:00,147 I'm innocent. 634 00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:02,190 I'm too much of a puss to kill someone. 635 00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,984 I'd laugh, Fred. 636 00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:06,361 If I wasn't standing next to this secret comedian over here. 637 00:24:06,444 --> 00:24:08,321 Man, if I found humor attractive, 638 00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:10,323 I would be all over you right now. 639 00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:11,241 Oh, well. 640 00:24:12,075 --> 00:24:14,035 [sighs] 641 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,330 Hey, so if you no longer feel guilty for your mom's disappearance, 642 00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:18,790 why do you think you hallucinated? 643 00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:20,208 The rules feel a bit muddy. 644 00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:21,751 Muddy? 645 00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:24,045 Oh, sorry I'm not a drunk on the verge of losing custody, 646 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,590 like every other woman solving murders these days. 647 00:24:26,673 --> 00:24:30,385 Clearly I hallucinated because I do still feel guilty. 648 00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:33,430 As annoying as I was, 649 00:24:33,513 --> 00:24:34,848 in my heart, 650 00:24:34,931 --> 00:24:37,100 I know my mom loves me too much to have left. 651 00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:41,855 It was my mystery solving that caused her disappearance. 652 00:24:41,938 --> 00:24:44,524 But after catching Fred, I'm back, baby. 653 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:47,527 I'm gonna find my mom, or die trying. 654 00:24:50,780 --> 00:24:53,658 Yuck! That is one mystery I don't want to solve. 655 00:24:53,742 --> 00:24:55,076 Right? [chuckles] 656 00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:00,957 [yelps] Uh... 657 00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:01,833 Velma, 658 00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:03,418 you should see this. 659 00:25:03,501 --> 00:25:04,336 [groans] 660 00:25:05,629 --> 00:25:06,463 [gasps] 661 00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:09,758 Oh, God! Krista! 662 00:25:09,841 --> 00:25:11,676 And she also has no brain! 663 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,887 [closing theme music playing] 664 00:25:13,937 --> 00:25:18,487 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0